You shouldn’t feel like you’re stuck in a gray area in your relationship. When love is true, it feels real and the status of the relationship is clear. If your relationship status is questionable, here are a few tips to help you quickly determine if your relationship is the real deal, or if you’re only the side chick……
1. Netflix And Chill Is Your Only Dating Option
You want to leave the house, he wants to Netflix and chill- for every date. Don’t get us wrong, a Netflix and chill night is an awesome way to get close and comfy with your boo. However, if your only dating option involves the living room sofa and a remote, that may be cause for concern. Is he cheating on you? Is he hiding you? Why won’t he take you out in public? Is he really just a couch potato or are you really only a side chick? Read on to find out……
2. He Cancels On You Last Minute…. A Lot
If you find yourself constantly dining alone in a public place because he constantly cancels plans to meet you at the last minute, that may be a sign that you’re his side chick. If a man truly wants to be with you, he’ll make time for you- and he won’t cancel. As private investigators, we understand how frustrating this can be for our clients. This type of behavior can be very confusing, especially in new relationships. Start using a journal to keep track of how many times he cancels on you. Pretty soon you’ll start to see patterns that will help you make the appropriate decisions about the relationship. If a man truly wants to be with you, he’ll make time for you. If he doesn’t, he’ll make excuses.
3. Photos Are Not Allowed
One of the biggest signs you may come across if someone is cheating on you is their hesitance to be photographed with you. If your man freaks out and flat out refuses to be photographed with you, chances are, he may be trying to hide the relationship. You, of course, want to show off your new boo; him, not so much. Some men will allow you to take the photo under the condition that you are not allowed to post it on social media. Some men may actually have legitimate concerns regarding social media photos. Perhaps he claims he’s against social media photos because he wants to prevent issues with his employer or his career. This may be true for wild, inappropriate photos. However, rarely will a man lose his job over a romantic embrace with the love of his life. His “no photos please” policy may certainly be a cause to dig deeper as to the real reason behind his reluctance.
4. You’ve Never Met His Parents Or Friends.
How long have you been dating? Long enough to have met his parents or at least a few of his friends? If so, you need to ask yourself exactly why you haven’t met them yet. When a man is already in a committed relationship and he decides to cheat, usually the side chick is kept far away from his family and friends. Many men who cheat want to have their cake and eat it too. In order to do this, he’ll need to keep everyone in the dark about you, and in turn, he’ll need to keep you in the dark about them. Have you ever been to his house? Does he always have an excuse as to why you can’t come visit him at home? If so, this is a huge red flag. One of our licensed private investigators can help shed some light on this situation for you. Our surveillance investigators routinely follow cheaters suspected of infidelity. We can follow him to determine if he is indeed living a double life. You haven’t met any of his friends or family? We can tell you if someone else has.
5. He’s MIA For Major Holidays
If he is MIA on major holidays and won’t return phone calls or text messages during the holidays, chances are, you’re likely his side chick. Holidays are an important time in relationships. Most lovers in real relationship relish the closeness and intimacy often brought about by time spent together on holidays. Holidays are special and you want to spend them with your partner. But if he coincidentally is never around for the holidays, that may be sign. Side chicks typically don’t get the privilege of spending the holidays with their lovers.
6. He’s Not Into Labels
He’s just not into labels, he says. There’s just no need to call you his girlfriend. Why not? If you’ve been dating for a while and he’s reluctant to claim you as his girlfriend, it’s time to question his reluctance. Perhaps he’s just not ready for a serious commitment; perhaps he can’t commit because he already has a girlfriend. Talk to him about the expectations of the relationship. Communication is key. If he as made it clear that he is not looking for a long term relationship, don’t hang around trying to change his mind. Move on and find someone who is looking for the same level of commitment as you are. After all, you’re a priority, not an option- and certainly not side chick material.
Don’t be a fool for love.